Two Hearts Intertwined
by moonflower
Summary: Xena has to rediscover her past after her and Ares are united forever
1. Prologue

Prologue  
  
  
Xena awakened with a start. The sound of twig snapping in the chilly breeze startled her. The bushes outside of camp were rustling softly in the wind-or was it some unseen but not unheard intruder waiting to attack? She looked around sharply, ready to torture whoever dared to interrupt her on this night, of all nights. Her face was scrunched up in an unbecoming manner, causing wrinkles and ridges to invade her normally smooth face. She stood still, not daring to make a sound. For a moment, she looked like like the wild warrior princess Ares had first met with her dark long hair making a soft swish sound as it cascaded down her shoulders in the wind. The moonlight caused her face to look distorted and evil. She had a wild gleam in her eyes and felt all of her passion for killing and pain returning to her like a long lost friend. Just as quickly as quickly as the thought crossed her mind it departed, never to return. After searching the area with her piercing eyes, Xena decided to her satisfaction, that the possible intruder had probably left to terrorize someone else.  
She turned around to go back to her deerskins to hopefully get some hard-earned sleep when her breath caught in her throat. The sleeping figure beside her looked so peaceful that she didn't have the heart to wake him up to tell him about their late night visitor.   
"Let him sleep", Xena said aloud, to nobody in particular. "He definitely earned his rest," she once again said aloud with a knowing smile. They had a hard, but rewarding night. "Very rewarding", she thought aloud. There was a full moon and that pale golden light made Ares' body look like the picturesque god he was and made all doubts about the events of late fade away like the evening sun. No, there would be no turning back now. The fates' loom could never be destroyed and the yarn of life they spin ever undone. In the last few cycles of the moon, Xena had come to know all of the phases of life, birth, marriage, and death.   
Staring into Ares' eyes, she realized why they were called the windows to the soul. His eyes were full of pain, anger, anguish, and love. His eyes told stories of betrayal, and hate, but Xena looked past that and saw their future together and undying love. She caressed his lips with her own and silently vowed she would spend an eternity making his pain go away and replace the bad memories with good ones. She wished that they would know only love. She decided that this was an empty dream, without pain and sorrow, they never could have been together, and would never be where they are now. Moreover, Ares wouldn't have come to be the King of the Gods and Xena his Queen.  
Xena listened to Ares' unbroken breathing for a moment and wondered for a fleeting moment if she really deserved him. Turning to look at Ares for one last time, Xena almost changed her mind. She groaned unvoluntarily and made a grimace of pain as she tore her eyes from his. "No, she said, "This is what's best for both of us. She said a quiet goodbye and took a stroll along the moonlit lake. She would be back-eventually when the wounds had a chance to scab over and she wouldn't fear the look of hate in Ares' eyes when he looked at her. The hate of her and life in general They would love each other for an eternity, that Xena was sure of. It just hurt too much to be together right now and remind each other in so many little ways every day of the price they paid to be together. A price she began to fear they would be paying for the rest of their lives.   
She had no plans on where she was going or when she would be back, but Xena was not afraid-too much. This was very much like her life- not knowing where she was going, or exactly where she was now, but she did know where she had been. She started on her journey to discover herself and the forces that bound her and Ares' hearts together.  



	2. Tempting the Fates

  
  
Chapter 1  
Tempting the Fates  
(1 year earlier)  
  
This was not a good day for Xena. The Romans had crucified her and Gabrielle a couple months before. Yet, they were both still here to talk about it. The battle between life and death was fought with Xena and Gabrielle's bodies as the battlefield. The imminent presence of death lingered in the air for life was facing a terrible and bloody defeat. As Celesta hovered over their souls, a divine being intervened, thus bringing both Xena and Gabrielle back to the land of the living once more.   
Now, Xena found herself a couple of months later feeling extremely irritable and ill. It all started when Gabrielle found the need to awaken her at the crack of dawn. There is no other evil in the world like having your peaceful slumber rudely interrupted by an irritating blonde. With the morning off to such a bad start. Now, Xena didn't hold much hope for the rest of the day. Resisting the urge to strangle Gabrielle and quiet her hopelessly cheerful voice once and for all, Xena decided to follow her other urge- to eat.  
This thought gave new meaning to Xena's outlook on life for the moment because she smelled freshly cooked and killed deer nearby. She involuntarily licked her lips and headed toward the delectable scent, as a predator would track prey. "At least Gabrielle is good for something," she said, hoping Gabrielle would hear the sarcasm in her voice. All at once, she felt a wave of guilt for thinking bad things about her best friend. It wasn't the girl's fault that she was having violent mood swings. Looking at the situation with new eyes, Xena went towards the fire to enjoy her newfound and rare good mood. A ravenous hunger invaded her body and she felt she hadn't eaten for weeks, or even years. As both her and Gabrielle found out, starvation, whether real or in thought, is neither pleasant for the starvee or the cook. Xena pounced upon the pot on the fire with such speed that Gabrielle barely had time to leap out of the way. Xena then proceeded to slurp up what she thought was deer meat.   
"What is this stuff?" Xena said, sputtering." Gabrielle seemed to ignore her. This simple act of defiance fueled Xena's anger. She took another look into the pot and knew of what it was composed. Much to her dismay, the source of the pleasant odor was not meat, but the clothes she herself had worn a couple of days earlier when she skinned a deer. Gabrielle was boiling the laundry to remove the odors. Bored with the unresponsive stonewall she seemed to face and her animalistic cravings, Xena went out into the woods to search out food. "Not just any food", she said to herself, "Meat." Her warrior instincts were in full force and the pent up energy made Xena feel extremely more angry, if that was even possible. This was fury over Gabrielle, their experiences, and her own unstable emotions. She stomped through the damp forest in search of a kill as her stomach did somersaults inside her body. Her stomach seemed to lead her to a young rabbit that was hopping along the path. Xena quickly killed and skinned it with a few simple swipes from her sword. She then proceeded to eat the rabbit raw, gobbling it up as if there were no tomorrow.  
This was the scene that Gabrielle saw when she finally caught up with her long time friend. She was greeted with a blood soaked Xena tearing apart some sort of animal with a passion Gabrielle had never seen outside of the battlefield. Xena had not seen Gabrielle yet, and Gabby wanted to keep it that way. She didn't think this was an occasion for a confrontation. Gabby opted to go for a long walk to clear her head and hopefully erase the image of her friend ruthlessly ripping that rabbit to shreds. The walk did not help much to find an end to Xena's anger. Instead of clearing her head, the stroll seemed to complicate matters. With a new level of worry about her friend, Gabbrielle came back to camp.   
Later that night, Gabrielle lay near the sleeping Xena just as she had for several years, only this time was different. Never before had they been so close, but yet so far away. Worried about her best friend's mental state, Gabrielle fell into a deep and troubled sleep. Xena and Gabrielle had very similar dreams that night. They dreamt of the adventures they had so far and the events that could occur in the not so distant future. Neither would remember these dreams clearly the next morning, but they would remember the feeling of great sorrow, isolation, and regret that they never again wanted to experience. Not known to them, they would soon experience these emotions permanently if they didn't work to change their future.   



	3. A Wall Between Friends

Chapter 2  
A Wall Between Friends  
  
  
Somewhere along the way to Athens, which was to be a destination never reached, Gabrielle somehow managed to convince Xena about the need to stop and get a much needed rest in a small village nearby. She hoped to get Xena to see a doctor or medicine man of some sort because now Gabby feared for Xena's life. At first Xena just had strange eating habits, craving a certain food and sometimes in the middle of the night, but now Xena was having pains and sickness in her stomach every morning.   
Finally, Gabrielle's concern for her friend outweighed her concern for what her friend might do to her when approached. Somewhat encouraged and a little scared by her friend's seemingly good mood, Gabby decided to approached Xena about her concerns cautiously, like a young horse that is ready to bolt-or attack. These concerns were ever growing and building the wall between them. "Xena", Gabrielle said slowly, "I think you should see a doctor." Extremely relieved, but at the same time distressed of what the reply would be, Gabby turned to look at Xena. She was greeted by a stony expression and deadly silence. "Xena, did you hear me?  
"Yes, I heard. My hearing is fine. You think I should go to a doctor. I was just about to say...." Xena was suddenly interrupted by Gabrielle, who expecting the worse, started apologizing profusely.  
"What I was about to say when I was so rudely interrupted, Gabby, is that I was thinking the same thing myself", Xena said roughly, her face growing redder and redder from anger and embarrassment. "I realize that I haven't been acting like myself lately, but I don't enjoy it when other people-mainly you- feel the need to point out my temporary weaknesses to me."  
Barring Xena's last comment, Gabrielle was immensely pleased with herself. She was also surprised, she expected the widely feared and admired warrior princess to put up more of a fight. "Even the old Xena wouldn't see doctors", Gabby said aloud. Now suspicious of Xena's intentions Gabby vowed to go with Xena to see the doctor- to make sure Xena actually saw the doctor. Deciding not to ruin the nice sunny day, Gabrielle didn't voice her suspicions. Despite Xena's seemingly good mood, Gabrielle had a feeling it was the calm before the storm.  
After being left alone for what seemed to be an eternity in her thoughts, Xena finally broke the silence. "As a matter of fact, I will go right now." Gabrielle searched Xena's eyes to see if she was joking, but all she saw where two pools of murky darkness in which Gabby could shed no light.  
That night, Xena and Gabrielle started the journey to the village in silence and the mountain between them grew with each mile they walked in silence. To Gabrielle, the mountain had never felt so real; she felt that in the cold darkness of the night, Gabrielle could practically feel the slippery, rough stone surface of which the mountain was composed. She felt that since they had reached a sort of breakthrough, she felt that perhaps she could climb over the mountain, over to Xena's side. A depressing thought entered her mind. "How does one climb a mountain that reaches almost to Mt. Olympus? She asked herself. Growing increasingly tired of both the emotional and physical wear and tear she was facing, Gabrielle gave into the night and fell into step with the stranger that once was her best friend.   



	4. A Different Perspective on Things

Chapter 3  
A Different Perspective on Things  
  
  
Xena and Gabrielle arrived at the village early in the morning. Xena, trying to get out of her doctor visit, insisted that they needed more supplies. After this chore, Xena decided to treat Gabby and herself to a meal and drink at the local restaurant.   
"Xena, are you nervous about seeing a doctor?" an increasingly frustrated and annoyed Gabrielle asked. She was greeted by silence, as usual. Seeing as her friend was extremely touchy about this particular topic, Gabby decided to leave the conversation as is.   
While Gabby was thinking of how Xena was going to treat the poor doctor "Won't even know what hit him", Xena was thinking of her failure as her own doctor. Raised in a family with just enough food and clothing and nothing left for doctors, Xena learned how to recognize diseases and illnesses and how to treat them.   
After an eternity of silence, Xena decided to revive the conversation. "I've taken pretty good care of myself so far, Gabby."  
"Yeah, if you think fighting warlords and conquering armies all the time is taking good care of yourself", Gabrielle said with a poorly concealed giggle.  
Xena scowled. "I'm alive aren't I?"  
"Yes you are Xena, and I am very glad of that, without you I would still be stuck in Potedia and spending all my life doing housework and taking care of my (many?) kids."  
Xena, a little embarrassed by the way this conversation was going, decided to put an end to Gabrielle's speech.   
"Enough of that mushy stuff, we need to hurry up or I will lose my nerve to go." After this, Xena proceeded to gather up the bag of the newly purchased supplies. Recognizing her friend's discomfort, Gabrielle remained silent and followed Xena down the path. This journey was made in silence, but not an angry silence; they were silent in respect for each other's thoughts and feelings. So onward they headed to the doctor's. Both thought they were prepared for the worst and the best, but didn't consider every possibility.  



End file.
